Wednesday, 4 July 2007

How Very Dare Who

Let's remind ourselves of the 1980's Doctor Who classic that is Peter Davison's finest hour: Earthshock Part 4. Here are the final twenty seconds...

[Adric has just driven a spaceship piloted by Cybermen into a pre-evolutionary Earth. The ship explodes and Adric is killed]

Oh dear. Poor Adric. How we will miss him.

[The Doctor turns around to see Magnum P.I]

What the fuck? It's Magnum P.I!

What is this place?!

Madness. Exactly. Why would the Doctor say a teary-eyed farewell to one of his companions, only to have the goodbye ruined by the sudden appearance of one of the biggest names in television just appearing in his ship? It's unheard of. Oddly, this is exactly what happened in last year's finalé of Doctor Who, where Catherine "Bovvered" Tate suddenly materialised in the time machine. Not the greatest introduction to a new character, but it seems Russell T. Davies can get away with anything. If he can't, he invents a Paradox Machine which explains it for him.

However, it appears that Russell has gone and "pulled a Russell", which I believe has the definition of "doing exactly what the majority of fans dont want you to do". He's gone and asked Catherine to be the Doctor's companion in the next series. Clever. No doubt we're in for thirteen episodes of high-tension drama which involves hilarious hidden catchphrases.

Why stop there? We at Channel Flip have managed to obtain all of Series Four's storylines for Doctor Who! Here they are, for your pleasure:

"I Want That One": The Doctor and Donna have to fight a bunch of wheelchair-using bald clones. Little do they know that the alien race actually have full use of their legs! What hilarity.

"Smith and Slob": After defeating a council estate, The Doctor has to overcome the power of the chav whilst fighting off two chubby idiots called Wayne and Waynetta.

This Cyberparrot has been deleted. It is an ex-Cyberparrot.

"Return of the GameStation":
The Doctor finds himself stranded on the GameStation. That's Numberwang!

I don't know about you, but I can't wait.

Let's hope this is the last Doctor Who blog post for a while.

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