Friday, 17 August 2007

Is It Because I Eat Rubbish And Never Exercise?

You know what I’ve realised spending a few days living alone? TV is great.

Earlier today I watched Honey I’m Killing The Kids, which used Science to prove that a family’s son would grow a beard. The equivalent picture of the daughter was described by the parents as “gobby”. One of the rules was the family was allowed only two hours of TV a night. Here’s some genuine dialogue of the mother trying to convince the daughter not to get pregnant...

“ it in’t all that, in’t sex.”
“Well, for you, wi’ Gary...”
“Really. I can think o’far more interesting things to do... with my time. Read a book, watch a bit of telly... But no more than two hours, obviously...”

It’s terribly entertaining, as is BBC’s ingenious new show Kitchen Criminals, which is, if I’m honest, nothing more than The X-Factor with food. Both shows suffer from the BBC’s apparent ignorance that they don't show adverts: every few minutes there’s a musical sting and the logo appears, and then the announcer will recap what's going on for people who tuned in during the imaginary commercial break. Possibly this is done for the benefit of UKTV.

Right now I’m watching BBC Three’s brilliant Is It Because I Is Black?, where Adil, a Muslim DJ, Karl, an Average White Guy (the “control”), and a wheelchair-bound comedian who Adil just referred to as “Disabled Dave” compete to get preferential treatment from companies and members of the public. For the record, the Muslim fared worse than the control, and the wheelchair user did much, much better. I love it. It’s delightfully anti-PC. So far, possibly on purpose, David has been described as a “stand-up” who is “walking” the challenges. (“So off we trot,” says Adil, “well, except Dave, obviously.”) Also well done to it for being an hour-long programme without using the phrase “political correctness gone mad” even once, which puts it about a million points ahead of Richard & Judy.

I think I might have to get myself a wheelchair. They’re fantastic. They make people lovely.

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